Orphan Justice: How Adoption Only Scratches the Surface

I recently finished a book that challenged me in ways I didn't expect.

When I picked up Johnny Carr's Orphan Justice: How to Care for Orphans Beyond Adopting, I figured Brother Johnny would just be preaching to the choir. 

After all I've not only adopted two children, but I have also dedicated my life to fighting for other children that continue to wait for a loving adoptive family.

And who knows how many hours I've given to volunteer work for The CALL, a nonprofit organization in Arkansas that recruits prospective foster and adoptive parents from local churches, then provides the state-mandated training for those parents.

Surely I'd be considered "the choir" when it comes to orphan care ministry.

How wrong I was.

Orphan Justice not only encouraged me to continue fighting for the world's most vulnerable children, it also encouraged me to minister in ways that I'd not previously considered.

Today, I'll share my biggest "Ah hah" moment from the book:

Adoption Ain't Always the Answer

In his introduction, Carr cites that humongous statistic from UNICEF: 153 million kids worldwide that have lost one or both parents.

But then he makes this statement: 

"You may think I am here to tell you that American Christians need to step up and adopt all of these orphaned children. I am not. I believe adoption is a great ministry; in fact, I have adopted kids of my own. However, not all of these 153 million kids can - or need to - be adopted. But they do need our help. And we must give that help, because orphaned and vulnerable children have no other hope or future."

For the past year, God has been challenging me in my fierce support of adoption. He has shown that at times adoption can be the easy way out. 

Now, I still believe God calls many of us to foster and adopt children in need. I'll preach that sermon until the day I die.

But stay with me here...

Think about it: It's easier to terminate a parent's parental rights than to provide long-term parental training, guidance and mentorship. It's easier to find an adoptive family for a baby that was abandoned due to his or her parents' financial desperation than to financially assist the family and help them find sustainable sources of income.

It's also easier to love a cute, cuddly baby or toddler than it is to love their drug-addicted or incarcerated or homeless parent.

Bottom line: As long as the adoption process can take, it's definitely a lot faster - and easier - than walking alongside a family to help them support and raise their own child.

So What Can We Do?

Imagine a world where Ethiopian people open their homes to all the orphans in Ethiopia. Where Russians open their homes to each Russian orphan. Where Indians open their homes to every orphan in India. 

A world where international adoption is seldom necessary.

A world where orphanages are seldom needed.

As the national director of Bethany Christian Services' Church Partnerships, Johnny Carr is leading a movement to help Christians and churches in countries around the world care for their own orphans. In Ethiopia, Bethany has trained Ethiopian pastors to promote and help facilitate local foster care for orphaned children. So instead of living in orphanages, these children live with loving, godly families.

We can financially support, pray for and possibly volunteer for ministries like these.

We can also seek ways to encourage vulnerable families right in our own communities.

"People in poverty need support systems, good role models, and knowledge of the 'hidden rules' of the middle class," says Carr. "Many poor people, especially those whose families have been impoverished for generations, do not have these resources available to them, they don't know how to get them, and most do not even know they need them. As Christ followers, we need to help provide these resources in order to help children and their families get out of poverty, which will then decrease the number of orphaned, abandoned, and vulnerable children in our society. We are commanded to help orphans, but how much better it is if we can prevent children from becoming orphaned or abandoned in the first place."

This, my friends, is Christianity at work. This is the gospel in action. This is the call of the Church.

So what are we going to do about it?

Carla

Hitting Home: Crisis in US Foster Care

What comes to mind when you hear the word orphan?

You may think of children far away, across the seas.

You may think of the Indian or Russian or Sudanese child that has lost his or her parents to AIDS or extreme poverty or civil war.

Your mind may conjure up images of the children you've seen on world relief organizations' commercials -- distended bellies, bodies like skeletons, flies landing on nearly every body part...

And while that image truly exists in many parts of the world, let's not forget a simple truth: There are orphans right here in America.

The orphan crisis in the US may look a little different from other countries, but it's still a crisis, one I've ranted over before.

Well, since it's May and happens to also be Foster Care Awareness Month, I feel the need to rant a little more. Please bear with me for just a bit...

Today over 500,000 children are in state foster care in the U.S. 

Unfortunately, most states don't have a sufficient number of foster care homes to take in these children.

Many foster children end up in temporary shelters and group homes, when what they really need is a safe short-term family.

Of these 500,000 foster children, over 100,000 are legal orphans, meaning while they may have at least one living parent, their parents' legal parental rights have been terminated in the courts of their respective states.

...Which means - there are over 100,000 children in our country waiting to be adopted.

Few of these children are blonde, blue-eyed infants.

Most of them are over the age of 6.

Some of them are teenagers that have bounced from home to home.

Many of them have special needs and behavioral challenges.

Many of them are African American.

ALL of them need a loving family - TODAY.

There are many wonderful Christian organizations working hard to meet the needs of foster children in their respective states: The CALL, Project Zero, Project 1.27, 4Kids of South Florida, just to name a few.

But they need individual Christians to join in their mission.

What can YOU do? What can I do?

It's a question we must ask ourselves.

It's a question we should seek God about.

Will you?


Carla

Christian Alliance for Orphans' Summit 9: My Biggest Takeaway

Last week I attended Christian Alliance for Orphans' (CAFO) 9th Annual Summit.

It was an amazing time.

I'd be writing ALL DAY if I wrote every single take-away I received.

There were adoptive parents and singer-songwriters Steven Curtis Chapman and Nicole C. Mullen that moved the audience with their words as much as their songs.

Then there were the keynote speakers...

Senator Michele Bachmann shared her heart as the mother of 5 biological children and 23 foster children over the years.

Stephen Ucembe told the heartbreaking story of life in a Kenyan orphanage where he received food and clothing, but no hugs, no smiles, no love.

Bishop W.C. Martin of Possum Trot, Texas (yes - "Possum Trot, Texas") shared the story of a teeny tiny church in a teeny tiny town that's done HUGE things for Jesus. A pastor and adoptive father, he leads a small church that has adopted 76 children out of Texas' state foster care system. 76 children! Speaking of his small congregation, he said, "We don't have Ph.D.'s and secretaries and people sitting at computers all day, but we have true love. We are doers of the Word."

David Platt reminded us that our heart for orphans simply mirrors the heart of God for His children. He instructed us to think rightly about our call to care for orphans, saying "We are not rescuers. We are the rescued. That's why we care for orphans."

And the list goes on and on...

However, the most compelling session for me was Dr. Karyn Purvis' 4-hour intensive pre-conference workshop.

Dr. Purvis, director of Texas Christian University's Institute of Child Development, has done years of research on adoption and attachment. Her workshop revealed the effects of a child's unhealthy attachment to his or her parents and the beautiful results of an "emotionally available" parent of a child with a traumatic past.

Dr. Purvis' workshop sent me through a rollercoaster of emotions. I laughed. I cried. But mostly I felt understanding, awareness and grace as I reminisced on how often I've gotten it wrong with my own children.

Some memorable quotes:

"You can give them food, clothes and shoes, but only healthy relationships can heal the pain of a high-risk child." Relief organizations are wonderful and necessary, but children in crisis really need a loving mom and dad.

"Our eyes are a mirror to our child." When I look at my child with eyes of love and acceptance -- even when correcting him or her -- they feel loved and accepted.

"Are you parenting your child out of your wounding, your healing or your journey to healing?" If I don't do the work of sorting through my past and present emotional pain, I can't possibly help my child work through his or hers.

And this is just a small sampling from Dr. Purvis and her book, The Connected Child. 

I am already changed. I am conscious of my tone of voice and facial expressions when I talk with my children, especially Christian, adopted out of a Russian orphanage at age 2. I am generous with words of praise and with touch.

And I've noticed already - my sweet son is a little happier, a little less grumpy and slower to blow up in anger over small things.

To God be the glory.

And thanks to CAFO for Summit 9!

Love,

Carla