Teen MOPS: Helping Keep Children out of the Foster Care System

Hanging out with Teen MOPS

Yesterday, I had the privilege of sharing a short message with the young ladies of Teen MOPS in Little Rock. This group, created out of the popular MOPS (Mothers Of Preschoolers) ministry, reaches out to unwed teen mothers.

My friend and fellow Mosaic Church member (and amazing writer) Tricia Goyer founded and leads this chapter of Teen MOPS. Months ago she'd asked me to share with this group of young ladies, and I hesitatingly said yes. Of course, I tend to be a bit hesitant to speak. Why don't folks just ask me to WRITE? I can do that with my eyes closed. Okay, maybe not. But almost...

But I digress.

So, just days before Christmas, I had the JOY of speaking to these young women -- and two young dads, by the way. And I promise you, I'm sure I was the most blessed of all.

Speaking at Teen MOPS

My talk, "Nurturing Our Babies", dealt with striving to maintain a balance between nurturing and correcting our children. I focused heavily on some advice I've received from Dr. Karyn Purvis, director of Texas Christian University's Institute of of Child Development.

I've learned so much from Dr. Purvis -- her workshops and her book, The Connected Child. Here's one quote I shared with them.

"Each time an infant is held, rocked, fed, and spoken to, brain growth is stimulated. As a child watches her mother's facial expressions and sees how she interacts with others, she learns to read the meaning behind other people's faces and behavior. Without all this vital sensory input, a child's brain circuitry becomes impaired."

I told them that holding and rocking and cooing at their babies, not only makes them emotionally healthy, but SMART. Touching them and looking them directly in the eye makes them feel loved and appreciated and important. And it opens their little hearts up to the love of the Father.

I also shared how God designed our bodies to nurture our children. (Another Dr. Purvis credit.) I told them the next time they hold their babies in their arms to think of this: the distance from the crook of an adult's arm is 8-12 inches.

Guess how far a newborn's vision extends? Yep... 8-12 inches.

A newborn is designed to see his parent's face and facial expression. Can you imagine what it does for that child to see a smiling, adoring face -- at birth? Amazing... It brought me to tears when I shared it last night.

I also shared several ways for them to balance nurture and correction:

• Be your child's advocate, coach and cheerleader
• Play with your child
• Give eye contact when speaking with them, even bending down to speak with them on eye level
• Touch them affectionately (Humans are created to be touched!)
• Use positive words when speaking with them
• When angry, separate yourself from them, and discipline them when your anger has subsided

And then I confessed that I don't get it right with my four children all the time. That I get it wrong a lot. 

But I purpose to love them the best I can.

Sharing all this was a joy, but it broke my heart to think of how many children of unwed parents enter the state foster care system because a parent just can't provide what the child needs. I thought to myself, what if every single parent had a support group like this -- to cheer them on, to help them know they're not alone, to provide the support they desperately need.

We'd have fewer children in our foster care system -- that's for sure. 

This is what some of us call "orphan prevention" -- helping a parent be the best he or she can be. Helping them raise their own children, so those children remain out of the state foster care system.

Helping them love and nurture the children God has given them.

Imagine that...