Top Reasons People DON'T Adopt: Take 2

If you read "Top Reasons People DON'T Adopt: Take 1" earlier this week, you know I'm writing a series examining why many people say no to adoption.

One reason, which happens to be a very important one, is they don't feel called to adopt. And although God tells us all to care for orphans (James 1:27), we're not all called to adopt.

However, I believe that many more people would at least consider adoption if they overcame their fears and reservations.

I've decided to call out those fears and reservations here at "Caring For Orphans".

Without further ado... Numero Dos:

When you adopt a child, you don't know what you're going to get.

First of all, if you've ever said or thought these words...

You're right!

Even if you receive extensive medical background on your child's birth mother and birth father, which is rare even in a domestic (United States) adoption, you still don't know exactly what you're going to get. Your child could develop cancer or childhood diabetes or even a mental disorder.

But guess what?

So could your biological children.

And yet, there is a sense of security in knowing your child's medical history. You know Aunt Suzy died after a battle with breast cancer. You're aware of Uncle Ned's alcoholism, even if the family tries desperately to hide it.

And on the spiritual side...

There is a peace in knowing that you and your spouse prayed for your child during pregnancy -- some even before conception takes place. There's a peace in knowing the spiritual legacy of your child.

There's so much security in knowing.

But sometimes, we can have a false security in parenthood. We expect our children to turn out exactly the way we've prayed they would. We expect our children to be godly and accomplished and smart. We expect our children to be mentally, physically and spiritually healthy -- just as we've prayed they would.

One of the most difficult realities of parenthood is -- there are no guarantees.

That's true whether our children join our family through biology or adoption.

Now, just to keep it real...

There may some special concerns with an adopted child, especially when you consider the trauma a baby experiences by being separated from his or her birthparents. Especially if you consider a child adopted at at an older age, a child that remembers life pre-adoption. And especially if you consider a child that struggles with feelings of abandonment and rejection by the very people that brought him or her into the world.

Let's just be real -- raising an adopted child isn't easy.

But then, raising a child -- even a biological one -- isn't easy. 

Amen.

And we're never guaranteed a healthy, smart, spiritually-whole child. Even the ones we birth.

We guide, we teach, we love and we pray. And we believe the best for each of our children, knowing that their heavenly Father would want nothing less for them.

And we mustn't allow our fears to prevent us from opening our hearts and our homes to a child that desperately need us.


Carla