Nelson Mandela - A Love for Children

Nelson Mandela... Few names evoke the reverence and respect of this great leader of our time.

I have reflected much on our "Madiba" and even blogged about him after his recent passing.

However, I wanted to share a few more of his words here at "Caring for Orphans." These words express Madiba's love for children -- not only children of his native South Africa, but children around the world.

"There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul than the way in which it treats its children." Nelson Mandela

In order to measure the emotional, physical and spiritual health of a society, we need to look no further than the neediest, most vulnerable members of any society -- our children.

In the United States - are we nurturing, protecting, and providing for our children as well as we can? Do we value our children? Are we spending enough money, time and effort on securing our children's future?

In 2014 I am committed to spending my personal money, time and effort on not only my own four children, but on many children that I will never meet. Through organizations like The CALL and Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO), I am joining in the work of empowering Christians to care for the most vulnerable of the vulnerable -- orphaned children.

I am also committed to engaging a national powerhouse - the African American church - for the cause of at-risk children. At the end of 2013 I was invited to lead a movement that will engage the African American faith community for the cause of the orphan, encouraging African American Christians to adopt and foster children throughout the US. 

Through the African American Church Initiative, a ministry of CAFO, an amazing, diverse group of believers is committed to invest much in the lives of "the least of these."

Because we still believe in the Vacation Bible School song we sang many years ago:

Jesus loves the little children

All the children of the world.

Red and yellow, black and white

They are precious in His sight

Jesus loves the little children of the world.

In 2014, what will you do to care for children? What will you invest? Will you commit to pray for CAFO and the African American Church Initiative? 

Let's commit to serve the least of these - or most valuable of these - in 2014.

Teen MOPS: Helping Keep Children out of the Foster Care System

Hanging out with Teen MOPS

Yesterday, I had the privilege of sharing a short message with the young ladies of Teen MOPS in Little Rock. This group, created out of the popular MOPS (Mothers Of Preschoolers) ministry, reaches out to unwed teen mothers.

My friend and fellow Mosaic Church member (and amazing writer) Tricia Goyer founded and leads this chapter of Teen MOPS. Months ago she'd asked me to share with this group of young ladies, and I hesitatingly said yes. Of course, I tend to be a bit hesitant to speak. Why don't folks just ask me to WRITE? I can do that with my eyes closed. Okay, maybe not. But almost...

But I digress.

So, just days before Christmas, I had the JOY of speaking to these young women -- and two young dads, by the way. And I promise you, I'm sure I was the most blessed of all.

Speaking at Teen MOPS

My talk, "Nurturing Our Babies", dealt with striving to maintain a balance between nurturing and correcting our children. I focused heavily on some advice I've received from Dr. Karyn Purvis, director of Texas Christian University's Institute of of Child Development.

I've learned so much from Dr. Purvis -- her workshops and her book, The Connected Child. Here's one quote I shared with them.

"Each time an infant is held, rocked, fed, and spoken to, brain growth is stimulated. As a child watches her mother's facial expressions and sees how she interacts with others, she learns to read the meaning behind other people's faces and behavior. Without all this vital sensory input, a child's brain circuitry becomes impaired."

I told them that holding and rocking and cooing at their babies, not only makes them emotionally healthy, but SMART. Touching them and looking them directly in the eye makes them feel loved and appreciated and important. And it opens their little hearts up to the love of the Father.

I also shared how God designed our bodies to nurture our children. (Another Dr. Purvis credit.) I told them the next time they hold their babies in their arms to think of this: the distance from the crook of an adult's arm is 8-12 inches.

Guess how far a newborn's vision extends? Yep... 8-12 inches.

A newborn is designed to see his parent's face and facial expression. Can you imagine what it does for that child to see a smiling, adoring face -- at birth? Amazing... It brought me to tears when I shared it last night.

I also shared several ways for them to balance nurture and correction:

• Be your child's advocate, coach and cheerleader
• Play with your child
• Give eye contact when speaking with them, even bending down to speak with them on eye level
• Touch them affectionately (Humans are created to be touched!)
• Use positive words when speaking with them
• When angry, separate yourself from them, and discipline them when your anger has subsided

And then I confessed that I don't get it right with my four children all the time. That I get it wrong a lot. 

But I purpose to love them the best I can.

Sharing all this was a joy, but it broke my heart to think of how many children of unwed parents enter the state foster care system because a parent just can't provide what the child needs. I thought to myself, what if every single parent had a support group like this -- to cheer them on, to help them know they're not alone, to provide the support they desperately need.

We'd have fewer children in our foster care system -- that's for sure. 

This is what some of us call "orphan prevention" -- helping a parent be the best he or she can be. Helping them raise their own children, so those children remain out of the state foster care system.

Helping them love and nurture the children God has given them.

Imagine that...

So Many Davions: A Foster Child's Plea to the Church

Many of you have already read this story.

Some of you could almost feel your heart ripping out when you read it.

But in case you missed it...

It was an ordinary Sunday morning at St. Mark Missionary Baptist Church in St. Petersburg, Florida when 15-year-old Davion Only entered with his caseworker, Connie Going, by his side. This particular morning, he wasn't in church to merely sing hymns, pray, and listen to a good sermon.

Davion had a higher purpose on his heart and mind.

Armed with that purpose, he courageously addressed the congregation. Though fearful, he publicly asked for someone -- anyone -- to consider adopting him.* He asked for a family -- a family that could "reach out and get me and love me until I die."

And he's not picky. "I'll take anyone," he said. "Old or young, dad or mom, black, white, purple. I don't care. And I would be really appreciative. The best I could be."

Some might consider these tactics desperate. I say this young man has vision, and he knows the prognosis of his life is grim. Born to a mother while she was in jail, he's lost count of the many places he's lived. He currently lives in a group home, with 12 other troubled teenage boys.

Four months ago, his dismal situation got even worse. Sitting at a library computer with his birth certificate in hand, he searched for his mother's name for the first time. He found her mug shot online, noted her resemblance and read her rap sheet -- petty theft, cocaine.

Then he saw her obituary. His mother had died just a few weeks before. No chance of reunification now.

So yes, Davion's plea at St. Mark was a desperate one. He knows that with every passing year, month, week, day, and even minute, his chances of finding a forever family decreases. And he knows that if he ages out, his chances of a successful life are minimal.

A few statistics** for the 27,000 young people who age out of U.S. foster care each year:

• 40% become homeless or "couch surf" from home to home
• Nearly 60% of young men who age out have been convicted of a crime
• 52% of aged out males are unemployed
• 75% of young women who age out receive government benefits to meet basic needs
• 50% of all youth who aged out were involved in substance use

Not a pretty picture, is it?

It's the same picture that Davion, and so many "Davions" see when they dream of their futures. Especially African American foster children. Their dreams don't include a cap and gown, a wedding dress or carrying a briefcase to work one day.

But some of them still dream of one thing.

A family.

When Davion shared this dream at St. Mark, he said, "My name is Davion and I've been in foster care since I was born... I know God hasn't given up on me. So I'm not giving up either."

I pray we won't give up on the Davions of our communities, either.

* Since giving his plea at St. Mark Missionary Baptist, several people have inquired about adopting Davion. Let's pray that one of those inquiries will provide him with a loving, godly family.

** Statistics on aging out foster youth are from the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.

Daring to Dream: 4Kids of South Florida

By Carla Adair Hendricks

Last week, I had the awesome opportunity to join an amazing group of foster care advocates on a trip to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.

I know what you're thinking... And yes, we did see the beach. Yet our mission was greater than any beach trip.

Our mission was to observe and learn from the awesome folks of 4Kids of South Florida, folks that have committed to provide "A Home for Every Child in Crisis."

Our mission is nearly the same. We've named ourselves the "No More Waiting" Team, with a commitment to finding the right family for every waiting child in Arkansas foster care.

Last week's trip was exhilarating, emotional and exhausting.

And I can't wait to see all God's going to do.

But I'll get to that later. For now, I'll recap all He already did.

First of all, God helped us celebrate all He's already done in Arkansas.

Our group represented three organizations* dedicated to foster children in Arkansas. I'll give a nutshell on each.

The CALL's (Children of Arkansas Loved for a Lifetime) mission is to educate, equip and encourage the Christian community to provide a future and a hope for children in foster care.

We do this by recruiting foster parents from local churches, then providing the DCFS-required training for these prospective foster parents. The CALL serves as a bridge between our state agency and local churches. We currently serve in a third of the counties in Arkansas, and have had incredible impact.

I serve the Statewide Board, and I had the privilege of sharing the Florida trip with both the Executive Director Lauri Currier and Co-founder of The CALL, Mary Carol Pederson.

Immerse Arkansas focuses on youth that have aged-out of foster care. Without hope and practical help, these young people face a dismal future. In fact, statistics reveal that 40% of youth that age-out of the foster care system will experience homelessness by the age of 24. Immerse Arkansas exists to give these young people support, guidance and stability as they transition to adulthood.

We were blessed to have the Director and Founder of Immerse Arkansas Eric Gilmore not only on our trip, but leading and coordinating it.

Project Zero exists to help find forever families for children that are available for adoption through the state foster care system. The Project Zero team also seeks to raise awareness surrounding the more than 100,000 children in U.S foster care waiting for a permanent and loving family.

Project Zero's Co-directors Christie Erwin and Caryl Watson were an amazing and energetic addition to our team.

Together these ministries are committed to at-risk children in out state. We are dedicated to "No More Waiting!"

Secondly, God helped us dream of what could be in our state.

And this, my friends, is where 4Kids of South Florida comes in.

Last week, we spent an entire day with various staff members of 4Kids. And if those folks don't fire you up for kids in foster care, you better check your pulse.

4Kids President Doug Sauder began and ended our time with a history of 4Kids, which was originally a merger of 3 separate organizations. He gave a nutshell of how they worked through growing pains and did the hard work of becoming a mature and highly-effective organization.

Thom Lukasik, Vice President of Community Engagement, spent almost the entire day with us -- and I think we considered kidnapping him and bringing him back to Arkansas with us. (Can you kidnap a grown man?)

Thom shared his ministry's vision with us, showed us the most moving video about foster children I've ever seem and answered the two million questions we had. He also took us on a tour of 4Kids' group homes and a special place I'll never forget -- SafePlace.

SafePlace is a temporary shelter for children placed in foster care. Envision this: instead of a child sitting in a state agency office, waiting for an open home to welcome him or her, SafePlace offers a warm, engaging environment for the child to stay, while waiting for that home.

When we first entered SafePlace, I think we'd all braced ourselves for a place full of weepy, forlorn and hopeless children. Actually, what we discovered was a place full of giggling, energetic, happy children! We were amazed and I even wondered, "Do these children know they were just removed from their homes? Separated from their families?"

It was amazing.

And I have to mention the beautiful little three-month old baby in a crib. And the volunteer -- yes, I said volunteer -- that told me she loved working in SafePlace so much that she asked if she could work extra hours until she finds full-time employment. A volunteer that's begging to double her hours. Now, that speaks volumes.

SafePlace is a dream I hope to see realized in Arkansas. Maybe I'll be able to share that here someday.

But for now, I'll leave you with a word from Doug Sauder that resonated with us all...

"The dream is free, but the journey isn't."

Ain't that the truth...

It costs nothing to dream of a home for every child in the US foster care system. It doesn't cost anything to dream of a day when we'll no longer need foster care shelters and group homes. Or a day when every sibling group can go to the same home -- together. 

But the journey to those dreams isn't free. These dreams will cost much: work, time, money, and more work, time and money.

But we must keep dreaming. And we must continue the journey.

* Our team also included Pastor Anthony Hendricks of Mosaic Church of Central Arkansas (and my hubby), Jeff Spry of City Connections, Mark and Jennifer Cherry of Summit Church, Diane Heffington of Immerse Arkansas and David Watson of Project Zero

The First Words of Jesus

We talk a lot about the last words of an ifluencial man or woman. Surely the very last words spoken from the mouth of a dying person must count as some of the most notable, most vital they ever spoke.

But what about someone's first words?

When we think of the first words Jesus will speak to us when we enter His kingdom of heaven, many of us long to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant"... The words that Jesus spoke* to the faithful
servant who had invested his Master's talents, instead of hoarding them.

But those words were spoken to one.

What "first words" will Jesus speak to many? Those can be found later in the very same chapter of the Bible...**

"... Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."

These fortunate souls will be confused at Jesus' words, and respond this way...

"Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?"

Imagine Jesus cupping His beloved's face in His hands, and speaking these gentle, life-changing words...

"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers or sisters of mine, you did for me." 

Have you fed a hungry person lately?

Have you given someone a much-needed drink of water?

Have you invited the stranger, the alien into your home? Your church? Your community?

Have clothed a naked person?

Have you cared for a sick person?

Have you visited someone in prison?

Have you been close enough to a person or child in need to touch him or her? To speak encouraging words to him or her? To cup his or her face in your hands?

If you have done any of these things to one considered "the least of these" -- you have done well.

And you've done it for Jesus.




* Matthew 25:21
** Matthew 25: 34-40

Making a Difference: Orphan Sunday

Poverty. Crime. Homelessness. Substance abuse. Human trafficking...

The challenges facing our world can seem daunting - insurmountable even. Maybe, like me, you've wanted to do something -- anything -- to make the world a better place. Maybe, like me, you've witnessed the social ills around you and thought, "It's just too much. I'm only one person. How can I really make a difference in this crazy world?"

Maybe you concluded there wasn't anything much you could do to put a mere dent in the world's problems. So you did nothing.

Or maybe you chose to commit to one cause. You've dedicated your heart, your time and your talent to combat poverty or homelessness or human trafficking.

Or maybe, like me, you've discovered a collective way to impact the world for good -- for God. Maybe you've decided to pour your life into aiding the most vulnerable amongst us. The ones who suffer most under the chains of poverty, crime, homelessness, substance abuse and human trafficking.

Perhaps, like me, you've committed your heart, your time and your talents to serve the ORPHAN.

In serving the orphan, we have the opportunity to serve "the least of these."

The ones in need of an advocate. The ones in need of protection. The ones in need of financial security.

The ones in need of a family.

While serving the orphan, we must tell others about this amazing opportunity. We must spread the word, shout out loud for these precious souls that God adores.

On Orphan Sunday, we have that opportunity.

On Orphan Sunday, we can -- we must -- share with others God's call to the Christian to care for orphans.

On Orphan Sunday, we can tell others of the millions of children in the world without parents and a permanent place to belong.

On Orphan Sunday, we can share how AIDS, war and famine have stripped these defenseless children of their parents.

On Orphan Sunday, we can share with fellow believers that 400,000 children in the US are displaced, living in foster care... that many states rely on shelters and group homes because there aren't enough foster parents to go around... that 100,000 US children are available for adoption and waiting for a forever family.

Many of them will wait forever for that family.

On November 3, 2013 we can speak for those whose voices cannot be heard.

On Orphan Sunday we will "defend the cause of the fatherless." Isaiah 1:17

On Orphan Sunday we can join Christian Alliance for Orphans and churches around the world and stand for the orphan.

One day. One voice. One purpose.

One goal: to make a real difference in this crazy world.

Will you join the cause?

Orphan Sunday. November 3, 2013.

One day. One voice. One purpose.

Michaela DePrince: An Orphan Turned Ballerina

Some time ago, I wrote about inspiring famous adult adoptees like Jamie Foxx, Faith Hill and Steve Jobs.

Today, I want to highlight for some and introduce to others a young adoptee that has literally danced her way into the hearts of her admirers.

Michaela DePrince - CNN.com

Michaela DePrince, born in 1995 and named Mabinty Bangura by her birth parents, had every reason in the world to fail in life.

A quick snapshot of Michaela's feeble beginnings:

• Born in Sierra Leone during its 11-year Civil War

• Her father was shot by rebels during the Civil War -- one of the estimated 50,000 casualties -- when she was only 3-years-old

• Her mother starved to death soon after her father's death

• Orphanage workers mistreated, abused and neglected Michaela, labeling her "the devil's child" because of her "vitiligo", a skin condition causing depigmentation

• After her orphanage was bombed, she fled to a refugee camp

As I stated before, Michaela had every reason in the world to fail in life.

BUT...

Michaela had held on to a dream since finding a magazine outside the gates of her orphanage. In that magazine, she'd admired a picture of a ballerina. That picture inspired her and gave her hope - a hope that followed her to the United States.

A few months after she'd begun carrying the ballerina picture around with her, Michaela was adopted by Elaine and Charles DePrince of New Jersey. They enrolled her in ballet classes soon after her adoption, and at age 18, her life serves as inspiration to many.

BusinessInsider.com

A snapshot of her accomplishments:

• She is currently the youngest member of the acclaimed Dance Theatre of Harlem

• She won a scholarship to the Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis School of the American Ballet Theatre after competing with 5000 other young dancers

• Michaela is one of five dancers highlighted in "First Position", a documentary showcasing the Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis School competition

• She has already toured three continents

• And the accomplishment that probably earned her the most Tweets and Facebook posts -- she had the privilege of performing on ABC's "Dancing with the Stars."

Michaela is a long way from her orphanage and refugee camp.

AND she is no longer an orphan.

I've heard it said that one of the most inspirational words in the Bible is the word "but." 

"But" denotes a transition, something that God has turned around. When reading the Bible, don't miss the transitions in the text that read - "But God..."

I feel a "shout" coming on!

Have you had a "But God" moment in your life? Has God completely turned around a situation in your life?

The doctors said there was no hope of healing for you, BUT GOD...

Your teachers said you would barely graduate from high school, much less college, BUT GOD...

You were told you would never have children, BUT GOD...

You couldn't figure out how you would make financial ends meet, BUT GOD...

The counselor said there was no hope for your marriage, BUT GOD...

Hallelujah! 

When was your BUT GOD moment in life? Believe me, I've got a few of my own.

Like Michaela, God can turn our situation around if and whenever He wants.

Trust Him today for your next BUT GOD moment.

'Cause He's just good like that.